Hearing vs. Listening

Hearing vs. Listening

Michelle Garetson offers some suggestions in improving your listening skills

By Michelle Garetson

October 2002

Hearing is easy. Listening is not. Barring any physical impairment, most of us hear pretty well. But, how well do we listen?

Listening is a skill that needs to be developed and improved with practice. Sources say that most people speak at a rate of 120 to 150 words per minute. While that may sound like a lot to take in, the human brain can process more than 500 words per minute. So, as much as 75 percent of your concentration is open. This suggests that we should be great listeners, right? Not really. Often, we are preoccupied with the point we want to make after the speaker is finished with their comment, that we miss out on what is being said. Also, we are efficient, productive people and the extra capacity is filled with multi-tasking while we answer phones, email contacts, eat our lunches, and design a new spreadsheet — simultaneously. In the short term, we have achieved much and crossed many items off of our ever expanding lists. Long term, the necessity for repetition and rework negate the net benefits of our short term gains. We need to continually practice our listening skills and wean ourselves from relying on short cuts in receiving communication.

SEND ME AN EMAIL
Saying "Send me an email" at the end of a spoken conversation suggests that we are too busy to have given our full attention when it was required. We went through the motions of hearing the sender's message, but chose not to listen at that time. While it is desirable to have a written version for documentation purposes,often we lazily opt for written instructions to read when we choose to devote our attention to the topic. Much time and effort is wasted on repeating the message in a different format. Ineffective listening results in miscommunication. A popular cellular phone company plays upon this human foible by humorously portraying how unclear communication leads to wrong assumptions and unusual results.

So, how do we learn to become better listeners? Many books and courses offer suggestions such as eliminate distractions and focus on the sender and their message, but in the real world, especially in the work place, eliminating distractions is nearly impossible. Aviation is a 24/7/365 job. At any given moment, a customer may be in need of service and if we don't answer the call, the pager, the fax, the email, or the door, the customer may choose to contact another provider. How many of us are so flush with business that we can choose to tune out opportunities? Our communicative appliances are a necessary evil, but we can be the master of them instead of the other way around.

LEND ME YOUR EARS
Any of the aforementioned communication devices can be a useful tool in sending and receiving information. Where it becomes a problem is when the user allows the technology to take over to become the primary receiver. Listening is an active, not passive, exercise. Active listening offers the side benefit of being perceived as a courteous listener, one who takes the speaker and their message, seriously. So, if you can remember the acronym "EARS," it may help to remind you to stay focused on becoming a better listener.

E is for Engage with the person delivering the message. Eye contact is very important in face to face exchanges. Even if it is a telephone conversation, connect with the other party by using their name throughout the conversation as well as making notes of their talking points.

A is for Acknowledge that the message has been received. If possible, reiterate what the other party has said in their remarks to keep the conversation on track.

R is for Respond after careful reflection on the message. Simply reacting to comments without consideration is the opposite of listening and diminishes the exchange. Even if you are sure of your position, taking the time to think things through allows for a better response. It also tells the other party that their message was deserving of your consideration.

S is for Summarize the points made in the communication. This is where repetition is a good thing. Make sure all parties are clear on what was said to avoid mistakes and misunderstandings.

Being a good listener takes practice and requires the discipline to focus on the speaker. Devoting yourself to the conversation in real-time will significantly reduce the amount of follow up or rework resulting from ineffective listening.