Clearing the Air

Normal. A word that has come to mean that everything is usual, typical, expected or conforming to a standard.

We use that word a lot these days when we talk about “The New Normal” (TNN), meaning post-COVID-19. But when does the new normal start? Who decides that? Are we already in it? Are the elements of the pandemic we are currently dealing with the new normal?

The Institute of Boggus Talk (IBT) has never been shy about stepping in to provide guidance in a vacuum. In this day where we often hear leaders speak things or ideas into existence, it seems the perfect time to deploy our Keeping It Real (KIR) initiative.

So, let’s start out with the easy ones. Drinking and/or injecting bleach or disinfectant is detrimental to your health. Sure, it might kill what ails you, but that process may be a result of your death as well.

And, speaking of good intentions -- and how the road to hell is paved with them -- Italy has now banned the use of overhead bins on planes to prevent overcrowding during boarding and deplaning the aircraft. This is great for inside the aircraft, but doesn’t it just relocate that “crowding” issue to ticketing and check-in now that everyone must check their bag?

So, let’s get back to KIR and how the IBT can provide some guidance. In the U.S. we have all seen the problems with requiring passengers to wear facemasks when in our terminals as well as on the aircraft. We have seen airlines requiring passengers to wear masks but then instructing their onboard employees not to police it.

The whole COVID thing has become totally politicized, and the health requirements needed to combat it have become strong argumentative fodder for all sides. Well, the IBT, using crack scientific pontification and extreme amounts of Zoom Video Conferencing, has developed a surefire method to ensure passenger compliance for facemasks inflight.

That surefire method? Oxygen masks.

Oh yes, if the air carriers were to modify their cabin altitude to 11,000 feet, then oxygen masks would be required on the flight to prevent hypoxia (sluggish thinking, dimmed vision, loss of consciousness, etc.), altitude sickness, decompression sickness and barotrauma.

And yes, we do agree that many of today’s passengers seem to exhibit hypoxia as soon as they enter our airports and aircraft. One can only imagine what they would be like if the effects were worse due to actual physiological problems brought about by low outside air pressure.

In this COVID environment, where the wearing of masks in an environment that does not allow social distancing, how better to force nose and mouth masking than with the threat of loss of consciousness? In fact, for many passengers, loss of consciousness could be the preferred method of travel and not all that different from what we normally see.

Sure, commercial aircraft would have to supplement their existing chemical oxygen generators to cover the flights, to have enough oxygen. However, the anti-maskers out there would probably be less apt to make a scene over wearing a mask when hyperventilation, alkalosis, nausea and even pulmonary oedema is the result of going ‘commando’ from a mask point of view.

There is a potential side benefit of preventing airborne exposure of COVID-19 or really any other virus as a result. Having masks will allow the pressure resistant cabin windows removed from the front and rear of the aircraft allowing free flow of outside air through the cabin throughout the flight. That rush of outside air continuously bathing the passengers in rapidly moving currents would help quickly remove any airborne contaminates from the aircraft during flight. To prevent the risk of hypothermia or frostbite from exposure to high-altitude air, we could limit the flight altitudes to between 8,000 and 10,000 feet even though, technically, oxygen might not be required at that altitude.

As you can see, the IBT has done the critical thinking on how to protect the flying public during these pandemic times. Many times, people just need a little incentive to do what is necessary to protect them from themselves. It appears to us that this option provides that little kick to incentivize passengers to remain masked for the duration of the flight.

As to TNN, we are beginning to wonder if we are already in it. In these past six months we have seen much change around the world at a pace faster than we have ever seen before. Perhaps our industry is changing too.

I hope this clears the air.