Road Rage Explained

Not all days were like yesterday, but yesterday was not atypical. I spoke at lunch in Reno—great group of people. Afterwards, I dashed to the airport with just enough time to check in and make the flight to Vegas where I grabbed a fast-food sandwich and milk to go. That was the modern-day version of inflight dining. The flight to Chicago was pleasant enough, even if I did sit next to an otherwise pleasant high school teacher who explained to me that my idol, economist Adam Smith, had just tried to apply Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution to the world of economics. That was rather startling to me since Darwin was born more than a quarter century after Adam Smith wrote his great book, The Wealth of Nations. I managed to keep my mouth shut, but it was difficult. We arrived in Chicago on time, and I was prepared. I had called my hotel in the ‘burbs last week and been advised that a taxi from the airport would cost about $45. That was as cheap as a rental car so I opted for the cab. Only thing is, in Chicago I learned that the cab would be not $45, but $90 to $100! Each way! Now, of course, I needed a rental car. This was after midnight, only a few rental car counters were open, and they had a captive market. The price worked out to be more’n 50% higher than it would have been if rented in advance last week. Rental cars have become dictatorial, obnoxious, maniacal beasts. All by themselves they turn on lights, lock and unlock doors, and will not allow you to turn the ignition until you have hit the exact combination and order of some combination of brake, gear shift, and seat belt. Typically, the burglar alarm goes off during this time and will not stop. The odometer reads in kilometers if you wish miles and vice versa. Don’t even try to change it—you can’t. This was the first rental car wherein I could not operate the rearview mirror on the windshield. It had more buttons than a 747, and I pushed all of them. All of a sudden a woman’s voice came from the bowels of the dashboard, informing me that she was from ONSTAR emergency service and what was the nature of my emergency? I told her the problem was it was one in the morning and I was a tired old man driving a rental car in Chicago. I had not called her, the car had, and I had no idea how to hang up. And they wonder what causes road rage. The truth is that most of us live in a world in which we have absolutely no control over anything and we’re mad as hell about it. And I haven’t even mentioned computers! We'd love to post your comments. Please click the comment box at the top.